Thursday, October 29, 2009

Halloween Retro Lovin': Part 5!

Jason Voorhees from Cult Classics Series 1!

FUCK. YES. This sunuvabitch here is how a goddamned Jason figure should be. From zombiefied head down to his bony knees, this Jason is 100% pure awesome. He's a fucking beast too; this bastard towers over other horror figures. Honestly, this is the best looking Jason figure ever made. He's based on his look in Friday the 13th: Part 7 (The one where he fights a chick with psychic powers) and it's easily my favorite look from all the films. This is Jason after sitting at the bottom of Crystal lake for years and years, and boy, does it show.

Jason was chained to the bottom of Crystal Lake thanks to his arch, Tommy Jarvis (well, the third actor playing him anyways). You see, Tommy killed Jason in Part 4, was a mental case in the Jason-less Part 5, and was a bloody fucktard in Part 6. You see, Part 6 starts off with 'ol Jason dead and buried. Tommy and his dumbshit sidekick decide that maybe he's not really all that dead, so the assbeams dig him up. Guess what they find? HE'S FUCKING DEAD! But whoops! Tommy shoves a metal rod through Jason's lifeless corpse and BLAMMO, lighting strikes it and Jason is fucking back. Classic.

But how does he ever get out of the lake, you ask? Well, in Part 7, psychic girl is mad at daddy while he's standing on the dock of the lake and she uses her mutant powers to bring the dock down, killing daddy and letting the worst hockey player ever, free. Part 7 is also the first time Kane Hodder ever played Jason. He would play Jason more than any other actor, portraying the famous slasher in 4 films.

Jason looks like a wreck here; he's got almost as much bone showing as he does skin. And this time the mask is supposed to come off. I love how there's a bottom chunk of the mask missing, exposing his fucked up mouth. The mask also has a gash at the top where it took a machete to it back in Part 4. As for the shirt, it's even less there than his last figure. Ribs stick out of the front of it, while his back has not only exposed ribs, but a spine and shoulder blades as well. Both of his knees are nothing but bone too (insert Jason being on his knees too much joke here). He's even got gloves on, but they're fairly decayed as well. And once you remove his mask, you get a corpse; empty eye socket, old scars from past films, no nose, and half his mouth missing. It's just awesome.

All the paint looks great on him, especially the grayish color of the hockey mask. There's no question that his flesh hasn't been living tissue for ages and his bones are clearly visible through his skin and clothes. If there's one issue I have with him, it's that he's fairly bloodless. One odd paint mark on his face and, for some weird reason, two bloody butt cheeks is all we get.

If there's one area where the McFarlane figure is actually better in, it's the articulation. Jason has no leg movement at all, so his total points of articulation is 8. Everything else the last figure had, this one has too, and you can get some great arm positions for him to hold his various weapons. No ball joints here, unfortunately. That may have been great for his neck and arms, but the sculpt is so good here ball joints might not have disrupted the sculpt.

Jason seems to work good with 3 weapons, so here we get another machete , axe, and harpoon. The machete isn't metallic like the other figure, but it still looks good. The axe isn't too shabby, but the harpoon looks fantastic and has real string on it. None of the weapons have any blood on them, but they stiff look worn and grimy. He also comes with a nice forest base even though he stands fine on his own. I've included his chain necklace as an accessory too. The chain is much smaller than it appeared in the movie, and it's plastic, not metal, but it's a nice inclusion. Since his mask is removable you could technically include that as an accessory too.

I really cannot emphasize enough how great of a figure this is. I hope the new franchise goes "zombie" after a few more films. For some reason, having a mentally loafed zombie redneck lunatic who only kills moronic teens just puts a huge smile on my face. Speaking of redneck lunatic...

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